Losing someone or something very important is one of the most difficult challenges in life. Usually, the pain is overpowering. You could go through a whole range of sudden, complex emotions, from disbelief to guilt to very deep sadness. The experience can also damage your physical health, making it a struggle to think straight or to even eat or sleep.
Certainly, all of these are normal reactions. But even as there are no right or wrong ways of grieving, there is an approach that makes the whole process easier.
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Grieving is just one more big reason you have to take care of yourself. The stress of this experience can easily exhaust your physical and emotional strength. That’s why looking after your physical and emotional needs is important as you go through this challenging time.
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You can try to stifle your grief, but not forever. Acknowledging your pain is important to healing. If you shun feelings of loss and sadness, you only make yourself grieve longer. Unresolved grief can also bring complications, such as anxiety, depression, drug abuse and illness.
Tangible or Creative Expression
Processing your grief becomes easier when you express it in some tangible or creative way. For instance, write about it in your journal. If a loved one just died, write a letter saying everything you never had a chance to say; make a photo album that celebrates the person’s life; or be part of a cause or organization that your loved one was passionate about.
Remember that your mind is connected to your body. Processing your emotions will become easier if you are physically healthy. Fight stress and fatigue by sleeping, eating and exercising enough. Avoid alcohol and drugs, which tend to numb your or lift your mood superficially.
Hobbies and Interests
There’s comfort in going back to your old routine, doing all the things you used to do and enjoying them again. The pain always lessens as you connect with other people again. However, don’t feel obliged to feel as they think you should, or even as you think you should. Your grief is a being on its own, and no one can tell you when you need to move on or let go. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel, without judgment or embarrassment. You can cry or not cry, be angry or you can even smile and laugh at tiny moments of joy.
When trying to resolve your pain and grief, be ready for “triggers,” such as holidays, anniversaries, and other events that can refresh memories and feelings. Most importantly, remember that this is completely normal. Again, recognize the pain and manage it, but not without expressing it, whether through words or action (such as praying).